Hi all, this is my first post on reddit. Apologies for the length of this, but I want to give as much context as I can on my current situation. Thank you to those who decide to read through this whole thing.
I’m desperate to figure out what to do as I’ve been mentally battling for the last year and a half or so about this topic. My boyfriend and I have been together for about six years, and overall I would say we’ve been happy with each other and have learned from and grown throughout our twenties together. We’ve had low moments in each of our lives and each one of us has supported the other throughout whatever tribulation. We’ve also had lots of highs and have enjoyed each other’s company almost all the free time we can get. We continue to love and show up for each other.
But here is where my concerns begin. Although all of these things are true, I have had issues with the topic of marriage. My boyfriend used to get pretty defensive about it, and I thought it was because he has family trauma relating to hid parent’s divorce. My boyfriend says he thinks I’m rushing this topic of marriage because we are still young, but how am I rushing if it’s been six years together? He doesn’t intend on getting married anytime soon either, from what he stated.
He also said I’d make a great wife but that he gets concerned with our compatibility in conversation sometimes. That I don’t communicate deeply enough to him, but how am I supposed to know what he’s wanting to talk about? It’s a two way street. I am willing to have any conversation with him but I can’t be expected to read one’s mind.
Now all our friends keep getting engaged and people are asking when it’s our turn. He jokingly said the other day to some friend “Who said I was marrying her?” And then kissed me and was joking. But it felt like a jab and also now I wonder if Im just a placeholder in his life?
People of reddit, how do I bring this up to him to find out if we should stay together or not? I want to conclude if he will commit to me at some point or not. Im with a biological clock and don’t have time for this anymore.
You have to understand we are always happy together other than little moments like this and so Im left very confused whether to hold out for him or not and how much he really sees me as his life partner or not? Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR Longterm boyfriend raises red flags and now I don’t know if we will stay together.
