I (28F) have been dating my boyfriend (34M) for almost 5 years. We have a house and two dogs together. My boyfriend recently got a promotion at his job that is extremely stressful. His behavior towards me since starting the new job has become pretty cold. For example whenever I try to give him a hug or a kiss he doesn’t look me in the eyes and flinches. He also does not initiate physical contact with me. I have tried bringing it up to him before and he tells me I am overanalyzing his behavior.
This past weekend my boyfriend was invited to a basketball game with three of his friends. They only had one extra ticket but I told him I didn’t mind if they went without me. A few days later my sister’s boyfriend said he had extra tickets and invited me to join them. I figured why not? We sat in our seats for the first half and then linked up with my boyfriend and his friends for the second half. I gave him a hug in front of his friends and he told me I was being creepy.
When leaving the stadium my boyfriend didn’t wait up for me when we were getting out of our seats. I was able to eventually find him outside with his other friends. We then went out to a bar with the group. My boyfriend refused to come stand next to me when I was waving him over and continually walked away when I went up to him. We then decided to go to the casino and packed into his friend’s car to get there. I tried turning sideways in the seat, facing him, to make more room for everyone. He pushed me away and told me “face forward.” Once we got to the casino again he left me in the dust walking into the building and I had to call him to see where he ended up. My sister pulled me aside and asked if everything was okay, saying his body language was super weird towards me and was making her and her boyfriend feel uncomfortable.
I tried bringing this up to him today and he told me I was creating a narrative that didn’t exist. He also said that I was “reverse gaslighting” him to make it seem like he hates me. I told him that other people noticed his cold behavior towards me too and he got defensive, saying I was talking behind his back and “I don’t get down with this.” Now he won’t talk to me because he is mad that I was talking to my sister about last night.
Am I overanalyzing this situation? I have anxiety and OCD so reassurance seeking isn’t new, but I feel like I deserve to be treated more nicely than this in public.
TL;DR: My boyfriend is denying acting cold towards me and says that I am making it up.
